I Have to Give Up Me
to Be Loved by You?
Available to ORDER
best-selling books on relationships have a meteoric popularity
with a relatively short shelf life. Do I Have to Give Up Me to
Be Loved by You? has proven to be a rare exception. The core of
the book, a solid methodology for learning from, and resolving,
the everyday problems we all face, has given it its longevity.
almost two decades after its initial publication, a revised edition
is available. Along with updating the material, two completely
new introductions and chapters are included. The basic theory,
still intact, is made even more powerful by the learning each
of the authors brings to this new edition.
example, in 1982 spirituality had a very limited place in the
field of psychology. Now, the spiritual dimension forms the core
of each author's life. What's really interesting is that even
though love is the basis of each author' spirituality, their understanding
and practice makes their spirituality very different. By taking
what seems right for you, you can further build your own unique
spiritual philosophy and thus gain a great deal for yourself from
the original Introduction
we formulated our theory, we came to question traditional therapy
including our own...
We were victims of the false notion that change comes about merely
by decision and will power. Most professional advice-givers (pop
psychology books, religious leaders, newspaper columnists, etc.)
reinforce this notion. Ideas for "better" ways of living
include the unspoken expectation that change is easy. For example,
if you want to be thinner, then choose a diet, and force yourself
to stay on it. Just do it -- get thinner, or be sexier, communicate
better, express your feelings more openly, listen to each other's
feelings, stop feeling guilty, be stronger, be more loving, take
time to meditate. But what do you do when your attempts to change
fail, which they often do? Give up? Try harder, only to fail again?
Either way your self-esteem is eroded.
truth is that whenever we are unable to accomplish what we want,
something very important is hindering us -- something so compelling
and so powerful that even great efforts of willpower cannot prevail.
The only effective way to accomplish the change we seek is to
understand and overcome the powerful hidden motives that keep
us fixed in our present behavior. The term we use for these deep
motives is "intent." Intent is the purpose or the unspoken
motivation behind what we do. It is always expressed by our behavior
and reacted to be our partner, though usually invisible to both.